its a love, hate relationship

Got the following points from a book I just finished reading relating to psychology/spiritual stuff.  I just listed things that I have experienced or could relate to.

+ Left alone, hate does not last. The hater is attracted to the object of his hatred by deep bonds. It is never a steady constant state, and will automatically change if not tampered with.

+ Hatred does not initiate strong violence. The outbreak of violence is often the result of a built-in sense of powerlessness.

+ Love and hate are based upon self-identification in your experience. You do not bother to love or hate persons you cannot identify with at all. They leave you relatively untouched. They do not elicit deep emotion.

+ Hatred always involves a painful sense of separation from love, which may be idealized. A person you feel strongly against at any given time upsets you because he or she does not live up to your expectations.

+ You “hate” something that separates you from a loved object. It is precisely because the object is loved that it is so disliked if expectations are not met. You may love a parent, and if the parent does not seem to return the love and denies your expectations, then you may “hate” the same parent because of the love that leads you to expect more. The hatred is meant to get you your love back. Hatred is the not the denial of love, then, but an attempt to regain it, and a painful recognition of circumstances that separate you from it.

+ Love and hate are not opposites. They are different aspects, and experienced differently. To some extent you want to identify with those you feel deeply about. You do not love someone simply because you associate portions of yourself with another. You often do love another individual because such a person evokes with you glimpses of your own “idealized” self.

+ The loved one draws your best from you. In his or her eyes you see what you can be. In the other’s love you sense your potential. This does not mean that in a beloved person you react only to your own idealized self. This is a peculiar kind of vision shared by those involved (husband and wife, parent and child). This vision is quite able to to perceive the difference between the practical and the ideal, so that in ascendant periods of love the discrepancies in, say actual behavior are overlooked and considered relatively unimportant.

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~ by toekneelc on August 1, 2007.

One Response to “its a love, hate relationship”

  1. i like the third to last bullet because i actually see it going on … i’m curious to know how some of these theories impact the way you look at things in yours.

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